How did this room get so white?

Nothing makes a person feel crazier than the belief of having corrosive insight into just about everything, and it's magnified infinitely by the knowledge of how everything can be dissected.

The world itself is ironically shallow; ironic because of how deep everything else is traveling. We can understand the code of life itself, pick apart any academic idea or theory. And yet, when it comes to the most important things, the personified aspects of symbolism, everything becomes more shallow than anything imagined.

The isolation of a schizoid reality splits it all down the middle, and is upheld by blaring contrast: On one side, the emotive nature of the possibilities in Human behavior, and on the other, complete idolatry of the most banal concepts. Actually, they aren't even worthy of being called 'banal', because even those things hold more meaning than the largest, most influential parts of society.

I find the strangest examples of this chasm. And what disturbs me is that it doesn't even matter what angle it comes from: Youtube videos teaching people how to French kiss; the way Presidential terms define our culture and the value put in those representations; the majority of the programming on The History Channel; the spectacle of pole-dancing that live music performances have become; Americanized dubs of anime; the whole internet-dating-site 'construct' (read: business model); the ridiculous disregard for safety in the world of prescription drugs (and the ridiculous lack of any kind of responsibility for them) and, conversely, the other side reflected through illegal drugs; the idiocy of reality TV; the same reaction to public acts of violence over and over and over; the very concept of having a Dept. of Homeland Security in a country like the U.S.; the way that gaming culture has been twisted into a G4-esque, anti-intellectual entertainment industry; people anywhere listening to anything the Pope says and -not- laughing with derision; our symbiotic (read: parasitic) existence with forms of transportation that are slowly killing us; the over-glamorization of musicians into deities of self-indulgence and primal pseudo-royalty status; our (un)justified fear of profanity; the empty pleasure in all things forbidden for the sake of it; the dais that the Lowest Common Denominator (tm) rests on; egomania's status as exempt from real criticism or destruction; the blending of nobility and infamy into some amorphous thing that defines social status; the irrational love of controversy, especially when it holds an antithetical, anti-humane effigy as an idol; the laughable contradiction of all dogma; the people's ardent love for such dogma (read: evil).

They are all pieces of the same pitiful thing: The lack of Nature in Humanness. I am convinced that if I did not have the intellect that I do, I would not have been able to survive at all. The weight of it all overshadows the purer sense of hope for the future, and makes such a feeling more and more ideological by the day; more ideological and more illusory.