It’s taken me 6 months to find any sense of stability here; not just financially, but psychologically. It’s one thing to be solitary in an area that you’ve always known, surrounded by people you’ve always known. It’s another thing entirely to be solitary in a world that makes you feel even moreso.
But, this is what I’ve always wanted: To leave my life behind and find something new. Even if it exposes the fractured state of my mind, and makes me even more solitary, I can’t really complain about it anymore. I am sick of capitulating to dumb people and their shallow interests; to a social setting that makes women prey and men predators; to a structure of living that bleeds the soul dry.
I’ll do what I used to do. I’ll walk through life and push everything that I don’t like far out of my way, and if anything or anyone wants to stand next to me, they will have to earn it.